how could you?

not a perfect ending to a perfect day
unfortunately, i must say.
what to do? somethings are just meant to happen this way.

i was having the best time with you in what felt like ages
these feelings that have been growing for seven years,
locked up inside, a forbidden cage.
everything was going quite smoothly until we met them - you and i will never again
be on the same page...
i found out quite a few things about you that i hope aren't true,
and inwardly, flew into a rage.

what was that? i'm still speechless. how could you do that to me?
knowing you for so many years leads me to believe one thing - you're just one of those illusions -
full of superficiality.

your kindness, your caring, it all just seemed so real
yet in the blink of an eye, you changed
deep down, i feel, you lost all appeal.

who knew you were into outwardly pleasing others so?
when i heard you say such things, i just knew i had to leave you,
i had to let you go.

you have changed, there's no other way to put it.
i would rather be serence and not let this get to me, not get me lit.

you're not even close to the person i so dearly loved and knew.
you were my only one, the one i truly cherish, in all honesty,
you were one of very few.

who are you now? who are you to me?
no one, i say proudly.
though you hurt me so deeply, i refuse to let you get to me.
the light shines so bright, the truth - now i see.

i am younger, and you are more experienced, no doubt.
yet if our friendship has lasted so long without it,
why should we now have such a bout?
you are clueless regarding the sitaution and my reaction,
i'm sure, but the information to me was indisputably a clout,
the laws of our friendship, our intimacy, we must not break, we must not flout.

you still talk to me as though nothing happened,
and to you it didn't, i'm sure.
the conversations we had as of late made me realize you're still, deep down,
quite pure.

i know nothing will happen between us, i had decided quite a while back,
i must move on with my life, as you have with yours, i am sorry for this personality & reputation hack.
"it's not you, it's me," the phrase goes, but in this case, it's you at fault, it's your psyche i wish to attack.
i must forgive and forget, however, such emotions and such pain i wish to lack.

but life goes on, it must,
must it not?
i am still glad to have you as one of my close friends, indeed.
the great memories, the stories, the laughter, the ecstasy you brought.

and so it has passed.
after many, many years, so many dreams, so much love.
i forgive you.
and yes. i have now, finally...moved on.



<3