sometimes you just can't wait to get out of school. sick of the long nights. sick of the drama. sick of juggling work, school, friends and the alone time...or lack thereof.
you'd think that with xmas break around the corner, you'd get a break from everything ... finally get some well deserved rest, and get to compartmentalize everything going on in your life. but wait ... there's always a little piece of you that's not willing to let yourself have that alone time. that teensy part of you that wants to be occupied and overwhelmed by the banalities of life so you're not overpowered with thoughts you've been trying to suppress since god knows when.
yeah, okay...maybe i'm being a little overdramatic. but if things hadn't looked up this year, i really wouldn't know where i'd be. just when you thought your life was perfect...just when you thought you finally had the friends, the grades, etc ... just when you thought you had the key to happiness...life decides to change the locks. i spent the entire summer trying different keys to get that lock open again, let's say ... nothing worked. you can't take back time, and you can't change people - all you can do is learn from the mistakes and move on ... exactly what i planned on doing...after a little obsessing, of course.
the school year rolled around, and it was the one time i was dreading coming back to irvine ... but with every door that closes, another one opens. work and school, housing brought me back this year. i knew what i wanted, and i was going to take care of me first. really hadn't done that in a while. and i realized that once you're happy with yourself, everything else begins to look up as well. sooner rather than later, you tend to realize who your real friends are. and though they may not be friends to last a lifetime, they're there in your time of need - a hug, a smile, a few meaningful words - restoring your faith in humanity. such simple gestures can mean the world, and can change your world. and slowly ... the shattered dreams will come together, piece by piece ... to make your path towards a happy life whole again. boulevard of broken dreams? ... no longer.
for all of those that have made me who i am, you know who you are ... though i don't say it often, thank you. i love you. and i appreciate you more than you could ever imagine.
<3
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