yaadein

unforgettable memories continued.
7.25.06

i really don't know how you do it. you never cease to amaze me, my love. and these expectations of course must also be fleeting, but you knowingly made everything so obvious to me - and so i must now depend on my "actions speak louder than words" cliche. surely you somehow affect me to my core with every word uttered yet i must come to my senses and realize that no matter how much i want you to think that you want me to have no relations with you, and no matter how rude (i guess you could say) you are, sometimes, my love....your heart i just can't believe. my cousin said "[i'm] an enigma" - somehow i believe that to be true with you because i voice pretty much what i believe to be the truth and stand opinionated and unwavering. an extreme that i must decimate immediately, but you but you - you take my breath away. you fill me with as much elation in your actions as i could possibly get, yet sometimes when i expect too much from you, i receive as much disappointment. you're teaching me a lesson, my love - and i always knew i could count on you for that. of course, at the same time, you're telling me that i do indeed mean something to you without as much as even uttering a word. it's amazing to me how quickly you understand and keep in mind certain small things ... you take all my doubts away but undoubtedly i'd undo it in an instant by saying something immature or poking fun of you which somehow, unfortunately, affects you to your very core. i had the biggest smile on my face (mentally much more than physically because then i'd just look like an idiot grinning to myself - when i walked out. i mean seriously sweetie, i am in awe of you. now i feel as i need to find another way to impress you but i'm not going to do it. we'll let the pieces play into this puzzle that is our lives. it was all too visible to me - and somehow you knew i'd come (i'd like to think i made it all too obvious) - and i need to thank you for restoring my faith in our relationship without taking it to the extreme. you've given me just too much inspiration whether it be for the good or bad (this time) obviously, it'd be the former. the smallest things mean so much - cliche, i know - but it is true, and i owe you so much for that. of course you may have done it unintentionally - but i'd like to be extra positive on this one =D
and to be a damper in the next sentence itself, don't think too much about it - it is gone, done. love you more than you'd know. (but i'm hoping you do).





<3