eight little principles that makes a world of a difference

um so its funny how people younger than you can sometimes be more mature and much more level headed than elders you talk to....

you read my last post. i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, but talking to radhi agarwal just cleared a few things up. she said i need to move on. sure, a lot of people have told me this. she said you can do better. a lot of people have told me this too. and then she sent me this link. because she said that it's the least she can do for me. so i opened it. thinking it's another one of the same repetitive lessons i've been trying to learn from people's advice, but it turned out to be a little different.

you see, it turned out to be about me.

me. that's something i never really focus on. my counselor said i minimize my problems, and that i internalize it. sure, that's the way to deal with problems to some extent. it's better than just keeping it in and letting it fester inside of you ... i know it makes me a stronger person, but i never once thought about taking care of me first. i love being there for other people. i love being the one that picks them up, and takes care of them. in other words, being a mom. i just really feel that maybe it's about time i started focusing on myself, and taking care of my needs.
after all, you can't help others until you help yourself, right?

this whole situation with this said boy has gotten me into a lot of trouble with quite a few good friends...i know how it is to see your friend going through something, and try to help them with it, but they keep falling. and all you can do is watch them fall, and be there for them, to pick them up when they need you. i suppose that's what's going on with me. this has been my monumental mistake. and i'm still being nice to him. i know i shouldn't be. but i can't stop being nice. i guess that's my flaw.

anywayyyy, radhi sent me this link:

http://www.eightprinciples.com/

i sat here, watched it instead of studying for my 3 midterms, and i realized how true every word was. not only was the music soothing, but the words were as well. as i let the meanings of the words wash over me, i realized that you know, maybe it's about time i realized that i need to stop putting myself last. i need to have fun, but not depending on others' happiness. i really think i'm close to seeing the light. and for that...i'm very thankful.

radhi, i love you =) thanks for everything hun.


<3