current goings on

so basically a lot has happened since the last time ... the current romantic interest in my life decided to reveal to me that i was nothing but a pawn in this game of romance that we play, and that i almost lost pretty much my firsts with everything else to someone that realized that we will never be together. the sad part is, he used to be my good friend. due to all the stress and the trauma in my life, i decided it was about time i took care of myself, and i decided to approach the school counselor in regards to the mounting problems. luckily, eight free sessions awaited my arrival at the counseling department, and i gladly took advantage of it all. classes are quite difficult this quarter as well. as much as i have been attempting to focus on the subjects at hand, all of the aforementioned issues have undoubtedly taken a toll upon my well being.

i started attending the counseling sessions and surely enough, found a sense of inner peace by talking to my counselor. i have to admit it was kind of nice to have someone listen to me for once. not that all of my friends don't listen. i guess just not as much as i listen to them. she told me that she would help me through this, and help find means for me to overcome the issues i am dealing with. the sad thing is, i decided to forgive him, and still attempt to be friends, knowing fully well that it will lead me down the same path yet again. and i know that i have but one or two reasons of doing this. not only do i feel that this is a learning lesson (of epic proportions) for me, but also, i must have faith in people. no matter how much they mess up, i have a weird feeling that he's still a good person, just misguided in more ways than one. also, i just have this personal issue where i do not want to lose touch with someone i had my firsts with. i know it's close to impossible. but i have faith in myself. we'll see...

i should be studying right now ... especially with 3 midterms around the corner. but i feel as though i need to get all of this off my chest. though last quarter was interesting in a pleasant fashion, this quarter is quite the opposite. let's just hope that everything i'm going through works out soon, and makes me a stronger, better person.


<3