what is love?

when posed to a group of people, they said:
companionship, others' happiness as your own, friendship, universal, straight forward, expensive.

when asked in the name of love ... :
people responded: sacrifice, compromise, accept, appreciate, get angry, frustration, jealous, possessive, change a person, control, fight.

there are four types of love that we express, and that we experience.

one is through the *level of senses* which is put in the context of need and want of the senses - the very physical presence matters.

the second is the *level of the mind* in which the interaction, and the thoughts, matter most.

the third is the *level of feeling* where love isn't just a thought but rather a feeling for the person, where you find warmth, and care, and concern for the other person.

fourth is the *level of enthusiasm* which is the essence, the spirit, of the individual.

basically, it comes down to this: sensual, calculative, emotional and spiritual.

sensual:

its all about me

* love is sex.
* gratification to the senses.
* stimulates senses not emotion.
* physical attraction.
* expects sensual gratification.
* always concludes about action of loved ones.
* not patient. accuses, defends, concludes something about the person, and doesn't bother to question the other person about it.
* everything is an expression, and they are "wronged" by others' actions.
* nothing can be explained, or investigated.
* there are always fights. there's possession, and there's attachment.
* there really isn't a connection - one's enjoying their own high, and their own enhanced gratification.
* there's no patient hearing, there is no reciprocation or understanding at any time of crisis, thus the impact of the high hasn't sustained.
* gratification =/= satisfaction. the gratification has to be repeated, while there is pressure and commitment to satisfy.
* marriage is only for security at this point.
* one lures one another instead of exploring common interests due to attraction based on form.
* thought matures after age.

calculative:

you and me - separate

* love is a thought.
* demands physical attention and importance.
* how important is my place in your life?
* mind wants recognition.
* count = calculate = mind.
* it's always about how much i deserve v. how much you deserve.
* expects recognition, checks whether other person deserves it or not.
* is investigative, there is intention and doubt as well.
* there are no conclusions but a lot of doubts as well as manipulation.
* there is seeking of benefit, and the connection is linked to self interest.
* "as long as i'll have something from you, i'll be happy."

emotional person

us

* heart.
* i'll decide what i'll give you.
* love is feeling, emotion.
* expects control and obedience.
* always doubts loved ones, connection til ego is boosted.
* shows care/concern.
* ex: parental love.

spiritual

YOU.

* freedom freely given to loved ones.
* external connection.
* always trusts.
* surrenders in relationships.
* equal connection with all.
* love is being. stands for what love wants.

love ends when:

sensual: lack of further gratification.
calculative: lack of further utility.
emotional: lack of further control. [you're doing your own thing so i can't love you anymore, you have to do as i please you to, there is no equal]
spiritual: develop and enhance growth in other person to remove dependency and empower the other person, keeps other person away, you need to develop beyond me.



it's just something to think about ... and it's not as though you're limited to one of the four types. in fact, there's a little of us in each, and there's a little of each in us.



<3